Happy Birthday!

I have been asked by a few people about my party.  Of particular interest seems to be the dress code.  I realise that this will help people with planning and packing if they know what is going on.  My party is planned for Tuesday 19th January, 2016.  The location is not confirmed due to the damage which occurred with the cyclones and not knowing what has been rebuilt. I have been to a really great bar in Vanuatu right on the water but I can't be sure that it is even there any more.  In relation to dress code I intend to wear a fairly simple black dress.  In my head for the guys I am thinking like dress shorts and shirt type thing.  Hopefully this helps.  As soon as I confirm where we are going I will get back to you but dress wise this should get you started.

Dugongs

Just this week the visitors to the Warrick Resort were lucky enough to swim with Dugongs.  The mammals regularly swim just near the resort allowing the patrons to swim with these beautiful animals in their own environment.  This is a rare opportunity for the kids.  Despite what Emma Jones has thought all her life Dugongs are real.  They are the only truly herbivorous marine mammal.  For Tina that means they only eat plants. Tina below is a great white shark.  They are not found in the South Pacific.  You will see the difference between the Dugong above and the shark below.

The Dugong has no interest in eating you Tina it is quite safe for you to go into the water.  They basically eat Seagrass from the ocean floor.  These amazing creatures have a dolphin tail but are actually more closely related to whales.  They are calm and gentle living for up to 70 years.  The species is hunted for meat and oil and are nearing extinction.  Currently the water temperature in Vanuatu is 28 degrees.  For open water that is considered warm.  Very warm.  Even the most cold blooded will enjoy these water temperatures.  Don't forget your goggles and snorkels in case the Dugongs are still around.  It is expected that they will be.  Giant turtles are also regularly seen around the island in addition to the amazing tropical fish.

Race 1 Warrick Classic

There have been a number of changes to the race guide so here are the updated versions.  They are a little briefer than the originals so don't be afraid to read back over them to get a full understanding.

Race 1 has been forced to move from the Iririki track due to storm damage and will now be held at the Warrick Racecourse which you will find just near the pool bar overlooking the golf course.  The runners have changed in this race with the in and outs resulting in a very competitive field.

1. Deb JAMES is looking as strong as ever.  She will not rely on last minute training but the fact she has been putting away the ales since the days when she needed fake ID to get into pubs.  Definitely a favorite for providing laughs.  Deb is travelling with her husband Scott and two sons, Harrison and Matthew.  Deb is one of my awesome school mums.  Harrison and Matthew go to school with Jett.  Deb would still be a favorite to take out this race.

2.  Dave MORRIS has been training hard both on and off the track.  Having found himself a stable mate since booking the trip he has been training hard on the red wine.  Training with his stable mate Jemeel if wine is being served he will be a show unless the track runs past his room and then we'd be sure to see both of them sneak off the track.  Dave is travelling with his partner Jemeel and two of his children, Dana 15 and Hugh 11.  Dave is one of the investigators from my work.

3. Robyn SPARK has been training hard on the Margaritas.  An endurance athlete she will be strong and should back it up most days.  Robyn stables and trains with her husband Dave and will be travelling with their daughter, Chloe who will turn 7 while we're away.

4. Larry MEHEGAN is a veteran endurance athlete.  He will be a strong contender on any beer which he doesn't pay for himself.  Laz will perform no matter what the conditions or track.  Laz is my dad and is travelling with my mum Carol.  Don't let age deter you, he'll be there at the end.  An insomniac he is likely to be found near the pool from 6am most mornings.

5.  Emma JONES is a pocket rocket that can put the drinks away like any 6'3 grown man just don't let her near the microphone.  Emma's son, Kynan plays football with Jett.  Emma is travelling with her husband Bryn and their three children, Kynan, Shayla and Camden.

6. Zinnia HARDIMAN SCRATCHED - moved to a new stable with a new stable mate

7. Jameel MORRIS is quick and has plenty of go on the wine.  Training hard with Dave over recent months she will be strong.  As with Dave she may easily be distracted and could fall back from the field if there are hugs on offer or Dave's bedroom comes into view from the back straight.  If she remains focused, Jameel could even challenge Deb and Robyn.

Race 1 is now shaping up to be strong.

35 DAYS!

Well people it's only 35 days until we are out of here.  I think everyone is well aware its been a tough couple of months in the Hartman house.  Unfortunately that has left the blog a little bare.  But....we leave in 35 days it is time to get things moving.  We now have official numbers with flights and accommodation paid for.  I have a final form guide coming but wanted to bring up something in the mean time.  

There is really good snorkelling straight off the island.  Just this week there were dugongs swimming at the resort.  The resort has snorkelling gear available for use free of charge, however, do you really want to be sharing a snorkel with the unhygenic freak three doors up?  It has to be the fastest way to end up sick and who wants to spend a week in Vanuatu sick for any reason that is not self inflicted.

I would expect most of the kids will use snorkelling gear most days and I think it is worthwhile thinking about bringing your own.  They don't weigh that much and don't take up all that much room but could be worth their weight in gold.  For those that don't have any perhaps they'll make a perfect stocking filler for Christmas.  Obviously you don't have to but just an idea.

Casino Royale

I can find no information anywhere which suggests that there has ever been a casino in Vanuatu yet there are claims that as part of the resort rebuild following Cyclone Pam, we can expect the Grand Opening of 'The Iririki' Casino next to the pool side bar on January 16, 2016.

All the way from the casino capital of the world, Las Vegas, these genuine chips are Vegas stamped and sure to create an atmosphere nothing short of the real deal.  These chips were brought out by the same company that keeps the Browlow Medal Votes secret.  Security like no other, they arrived at the Toleman house just in time for his birthday.  We all know Bryn Jones is desperate to win back the money he lost at last years Under 9 boys footy camp, Garry and Bronwyn are card sharks from way back and Shellie Storm is out to win at everything including poker.  But, don't be disappointed if cards and gambling are not your thing.  There is guaranteed to be a game to interest everyone including drinking games for Helen and Paula, dice games for those who are on holiday and have no interest in using their brain and even crown and anchor always guaranteed to please.  But, it's not about the dollars.   Maximum chip value is $5000 but early week outlay is low and unless you manage to lose money as quick as Bryn $50 should keep you playing for the week.  For those that don't get it there is an exchange rate.  $50 will get you thousands of dollars in chips.

In true Oceans Eleven style we can expect casino owner, Paul Toleman to be present in the casino most days but will he be able to be recruited by partners in crime, Mick and Jodie Kist to perform the simultaneous plan of robbing the Casino, the pool bar and the island ferry all at the same time.  As owner of the chips, no doubt Paul will be reluctant to be involved but when he works out how much money Zinnia and Mick Hardiman,  Dave Morris and Jenelle and Brett Hartman have put over the bar in one week he is sure to get involved.  There will be more cash sitting behind that bar than goes through Centrelink on dole day.   When Paul works out this will cover his trip expenses, no doubt he'll agree and his inside information will ensure its success.  Mick and Jodie will be pairing up having escaped the prison of football season team managers role and will be prepared to stay up late to ensure they can pull this off.  Expect all plans to be emailed to all recruits.

Mick and Jodie will be looking to recruit numerous colleagues and criminal specialists to get maximum results.  Simon Dalziel will be picked up as the young and talented pick pocket attracting no attention from anyone,  Richard Cowley will be the required conman with the ability to sell ice to eskimos, Ash Storm and Simon Mehegan will be the gifted pair of mechanics, and Scott James the electronics and surveillance expert will use his helicopters to ensure everything goes to plan.  Dave Spark will fly the helicopter if necessary. Larry Mehegan will be used as the decoy appearing like the innocent old man and he will work in company with Ian King to distract the Ferry driver and bar staff.  University Professor Andreas Fouras is likely to be sure to work out the logistics but expect him to send Helen to forward the ideas to the Kists.  Acrobats, Emma Jones and Sue King will be called upon to perform cartwheels and backflips as the ferry pulls away when the ploy is uncovered.  No doubt the two psychologists, Tina and Robyn on becoming aware of the plan will try and talk the crew out of it but they all know if they get this right this is a free trip for all.  At worst if will cover the four 13 year old kids who aren't covered in the kids eat free deal!!!

At the end of the day if all goes wrong what have we lost?  Nothing, we have a week of laughs, games and fun at the Iririki Casino....

The count down

Only 200 days to go people....Just Sayin!!!!

Currency

As the US dollar continues to disappear before our eyes there have been a number of people ask about currency and cost of living in Vanuatu, so I have tried to put a few things into perspective to help people make some decisions.

The native currency in Vanuatu is the VATU.  The most common exchange is AUS - VATU or US - VATU.  There are some places that will take Australian dollars but it can be a bit hit and miss.  ATM are readily available but the exchange rate will depend on each individual bank.  There is a Westpac Branch.  Like opening doors where you walk in and speak to someone behind a counter.  According to trip advisor the Money Exchange has the best exchange rate but you really have to be careful to make sure you don't get ripped with additional charges and locals just 'taking advantage'.  Either change your cash before you leave or use ATM is probably the safest way to go.    For rich people like Toley I don't think they take Diners or American Express!  For the rest of us 'normal' people most stores/tour providers will take Visa/Mastercard.

The other rumours flying around is the general cost of items being super high so I have researched the cost of some of the more common items that most of us can relate to as they stand in March 2015.

Today the exchange rate from AUS to VATU is $1.00 AUS = $84.39 VATU

A Cappuccino is $311 VATU which is the equivalent of $3.68 Australian

A medium Big Mac Meal is $561.28 which is $6.65 Australian.  In Australia the same meal is $7.95 (Well it was when I went through the drive through at 3am last weekend) unless you are in uniform.  I don't know if they will acknowledge Australian uniforms in Vanuatu but in case they do I have a few spares.  Unfortunately I don't think Ill have one to fit Stormy Senior so he might be left paying full price.

Domestic Beers (Tusker which for whatever it is worth Brett claims is actually pretty good) is
$400 VATU for 500ml which is equivalent to $4.74

Important Beers (including Australian imports mostly) are around $588 for 330ml which is around $6.61 Australian

A 330ml bottle of coke (staple diet of Mick Hardiman and Mick Kist) are around $183 VATU which is $2.17 Australian

A mid range three course dinner for two people in a local restaurant you can expect to pay $7000 VATU which is around $82.93

Essentially the cost of living is somewhat similar to the prices we pay at home.  Not as cheap as what many have come to find in Bali and Thailand but certainly not over the top.  I wonder if some have been confused with New Caledonia which is French and super expensive.  Trip Advisor actually suggests that for main meals its cheaper to eat at Iririki than to go onto the main land.  Generally the costs seem pretty compareable and no where near as expensive as purported generally.

How you wish to go about it is up to you.  You can rely on card, exchange before you leave or exchange when you get there.  Cash exchange is available at the resort.  Whilst this is a safer option rates can be a little higher.

Form Guide Race 5 TROPICAL GIFT

Well we've hit the second last race of the event which is mixed with a few proven top quality performers and some that surely can not be considered as little more than emergencies.  They are unlikely to start let alone finish.

BRYN JONES Bryn is another who has recently returned from an overseas birthday celebration and so must be considered an experienced campaigner knowing when to make the break in the pressure events.  Bryn himself is turning 40 two days before most of the camp arrive so he is likely to be looking to be in good form and ready to go hard.  Another who is at risk of going too hard too early given he is arriving with the Toleman camp a few days early.  Definitely consider Bryn a race favourite.  He will typically stick with beer and hold it well.  A stayer, he keeps the true effects under raps and will not let it be obvious that he is slowing.  Just a genuine nice guy.  He can match it with the best including his wife and stable partner, Emma except on the microphone.  He can't win that one.   He has proven his worth in this race at Summer Hartman events having found leaving a few beers pool side too hard to handle despite his roster having him supposed to be down the wharfs driving cranes!  There are two options for winning money from Bryn.  Either back him to win the race or alternatively take him on at Texas Hold'em or Acey Duecy where he has proven to be essentially 'lame' having done his dough at last years Under 9's father son footy trip.   Apparently what happens on the trips stays on the trip except for the fact Bryn lost his doh.  Believing Vanuatu is his chance to win his money back I'm tipping otherwise.  Take advantage. Bryn is travelling with his wife Emma and three kids, Kynan 10, Shayla 8 and Camden 6.  Kynan plays footy, cricket and basketball with Jett.

CAROL MEHEGAN Caz would be likely to be starting with odds out as far as 2000/1 for a place and even then you wouldn't waste 50 cents on this old nag but thats if the race is won on drinking alone.  Expect to be entertained by Caz.  Definitely not a drinker she is unlikely to bother walking to the barriers and if she made a start one drink and they'll bring out the green sheets, she'll be on her head after one shot.  Give her a shot glass full of water, call it Vodka and she is likely to appear pissed.  If laughs get someone across the line then maybe put some late money on her.  In 2014 she took Jett on a cruise on Rhapsody of the Seas.  Two days in and the two of them were banned from the swimming pool for 24 hours!  24 hours without pool entry for doing bombs!!! and no it wasn't Jett.  63 year old Nana got the 9 year old banned from the pool on a cruise ship in 40 degrees because SHE was doing bombs.  She'll regularly be found entertaining the kids.  Sometimes renowned for talking without thinking don't underestimate her ability to build amazing things.  She built a billy cart for two, complete with wheelbarrow wheels and a brake and use to take me 1.5 km to kinder on it just for shits and giggles.  She'd then happily walk it back up the hill home.  Yes we owned a car and no we didn't live in the sticks.  Middle of suburbia and don't think she didn't try to beat the cars as we raced down the road trying to win the chequered flag for 'first to kinder'.  She has retired from working as many times and Brett has retired from footy but is currently working full time as a medical receptionist for a cardiologist.  Caz is Jenelle's mum and guaranteed to provide laughs on this trip.

MICK KIST Mick might stand a chance to place if he sticks to 'men's' drinks but he has a preference for colored cocktails with umbrellas and artificial cherries.  I would be more inclined to back his lightweight wife, Jodie.  Organisation skills like no other you can expect Mick to be the one getting everyone in to their barriers.  Mick is an Environmental Health and Safety Officer.  Sounds like some kind of hippie but he works for a large construction company so I think he is actually pretty important.  Thats what he tells us anyway.  Mick was on the same Thailand trip as Bryn and Emma and could rely on experience to see him across the line.  If he starts to struggle on the track he may resort to claiming that the track doesn't 'meet environmental standards' purely to make sure he doesn't lose.  Fairly well trained he is likely to race most days and certainly worth backing for a place.  Mick will but up late with the best of them and is also inclined to send emails at 3am.  DO NOT give out your email address or phone number to Mick or Jodie.  They arrive in Jodie's name but the wording suggests often those late night email alert beeps are actually being sent by Mick.   Mick is stabling with his wife Jodie and their two boys, Jack 13 and Josh 10.  Josh plays footy, basketball and cricket with Jett.

MARK AMOS Mark could be a contender to take out the race depending on what the race is being run on.  With Scotch clearly his drink of choice his tastes are expensive and he is more likely to run out of money before he pulls up on the drinking.  Can definitely consume a few you can expect him to be one of the last to leave most nights.  A talker, 'have a chat' will give anyone on this trip a run for their money. What does he like to talk about?  Anything, everything, anything... Don't enter into a conversation unless you have at least an hour to spare.  A great guy with a big heart hell be looking to leave car crashes in Melbourne and give the Tropical Gift his best shot.  Knee high to a grasshopper he should meet the height requirements to get on the kids watersides at kids prices but may struggle on the inside of a Korf ball having grown up playing soccer.  Mark obviously works with Jenelle but has been a family friend for many years with Jett page boy in his daughters wedding some years ago.    Mark is stabling with his wife Lynn in the waterfront apartments but can be expected to be found where ever the action is on any given day.  There is some rumour they may bring their 7 year old grandson, Riley with them although this has not been confirmed.

HELEN FOURAS Helen is definitely my tip for this race.  Anyone who can neck a bottle of wine between Warranwood and Etihad and still provide directions for everyone else who can't find their way has got the runs on the board.  She is the life of every party and guaranteed to have that smile that lights up her whole face as soon as the wine comes out...at 7am.  Helen can appear drunker than she is due to that crazy giggle.  Mother of 5...Roula, Toula, Soula, Moula and Agapi she has both experience and stamina to take this out.  A fellow school mum none of us really know what Helen does for a job.  She claims administration for her husband Andreas but I think what she calls 'administration' is what the rest of us refer to as 'marital obligations'.  I'm not sure but I do guarantee she'll be first at the bar and last on the dance floor.  There is no chance of not having a great time when out with Helen and I have heard her described as everything from trooper, character, pisser and piss head.  I don't think she'll be paying a lot but expect a win.  Helen is stabling and probably doing 'administration' for her husband Andreas and their five kids,  Dimitri 16, Alex 14, Christina 11, Maria 9 and Sophia 4.  Jett goes to school with Maria.

Form Guide Race 4 PARADISE STAKES

It has been interesting putting the form guide together.  Although we are are using the excuse for the trip that it is my birthday, it has become obvious that I know very little about some of you.  Generally I realise I know little about the husbands and wives of those who are so important to me.  I have learnt so much about so many of you in preparing this guide.  I now know we have two Simons, two Daves, two Micks, two kinder childcare workers, four coppers, two psychologists, two book keepers, four self employed businessmen, four maintenance fitters, two electricians who don't work as electricians, two doctors and 26 drunks!  

The Paradise Stakes has some quality runners and don't for a moment think that there aren't any in this star field that couldn't match it with those running in the main race.

TINA TOLEMAN is the wife of the race favorite, Paul, but don't be expecting her to hide in his shadows.  Tina can hold her own and when it comes to entertaining there are none better.  Tina may be out of her comfort zone on a tropical island where people wait on her.  She is used to being the one entertaining guests and providing food spreads to die for.  Tina is a child psychologist so expect her to have her husband Paul, Brett Hartman and Mick Hardiman assessed and sorted out before the captain has switched off the fasten your seatbelt sign.  A little on the quiet side when you first meet her she will soon match it with the best after a few Kahlua and cokes and if the Margaritas come out then this filly has a real chance of crossing the line in front.  A definite participant, you can expect Tina to be involved in most of the shenanigans going on around the place.  Tina is stabling with her husband Paul, and two children Kaitlyn 13 and Billy 10.  Billy plays football and basketball with Jett.

PAULA DALZIEL Paula really should be the only filly in the main race and would be hard to back against in the Paradise Stakes.  Paula has years of experience and can put away bottles of wine quicker than a thief in liquorland.  Age has not slowed Paula down and she will match with the best whilst still walking a straight line and speaking sense but once she is horizontal that is it she is gone.  If this girl makes it to the end of the race she will win by a mile but if her race is over a longer distance she may pull up short particularly if the rate at which the wine is poured is slowed.  Paula is at her best after a few reds when the hair comes down and the giggles start.  Similar to Tina, Paula may struggle having others wait on her.  Paula inherited some awesome cooking skills from her mother. Working in a high pressure job in the insurance industry whilst juggling motherhood she is likely to be at her best on a week on Iririki.  Paula is guaranteed to smash her stable mate and husband Simon who are travelling with their two boys, Kane 10 and Jacob 7 who go to school and play footy with Jett.

DAVE SPARK Dave will hit the ground running from the second he arrives at the airport and will not pull up until he arrives home.  If this race is based on distance he will have it covered.  A successful engineer with his own business he thrives on time away with his family and is happy to consume whatever is on offer.  A couple of Margaritas and Dave is likely to entertain anyone happy to watch.  Recently acquiring his pilots licence he was keen to fly us to Vanuatu but after his performance on the Carnival Legend Cup I felt it safer for us to fly with a commercial company.  As a young guy Rum was his drink of choice but these days Margaritas and Cocktails seem to go down like water.  Dave will be up for a chat with anyone and sure to entertain all.  I anticipate a fast start and unless he decides to take a rest day he is definitely a contender in this race.  Dave is stabling with his wife Robyn and their daughter Chloe 6.  Chloe is also having a birthday while we are away.  Jenelle was Maid of Honour and Robyn and Dave's wedding back in the early 2000's.  Definitely worth an each way bet.

RICHARD COWLEY could take out this race without actually having a drink although he will drink anything in front of him.   He is particularly fond of a whisky, beer, red wine, shots, bourbon, vodka, margaritas, cocktails.... I think you get the picture.  The thing to remember here is he will behave the same whether he has a drink in his hand or not so don't think you a getting a head start because he appears drunk early.  Chances are he hasn't touched a drop and is just waiting to make his bolt.  Popular with the ladies he is equally popular with the men.  A ladies man and a mans man however on earth that even works I don't know.  Richard is a regular traveller for work so is likely to be getting in plenty of secret training that is going to leave the rest of us in his dust.  An electrician by trade he now works as a sales manager for a large multinational chemical company.  He did get me horrendously drunk on some crazy looking liquid with gold floaty bits which I was told was vodka but am now wondering whether I should have been reporting him to a terrorist hot line for possession of chemicals.  No idea what that stuff was but if you want to see out your race don't receive any from him.  Definitely a trained and experienced drinker I would probably consider Richard the favorite in this race.  Another not afraid to look like a dick if he is sure to get a laugh and may fall under the eye of child psychologist, Tina.  Richard is stabling with his wife Lyndall and their three children, Mia 10, Theo, 8 and Spencer 5.

SUE KING  Sue must not be underestimated and is probably the one to be on to make the big money likely to start as an unlikely favourite with the bookmakers .  A rare drinker you'll quickly know when she is on it because the Bailey's bottles will begin to diminish and she will suddenly be sitting there with the biggest smile her face.  Sue won't say a lot but will take it all in.  Be warned!  Nothing and I mean nothing will get past her.  The main reason Sue is unlikely to take out the race is because she will stop to assist any other competitor who slows, stops or shows any need for assistance.  You will never meet a more generous, caring or considerate person in your life and she will make sure every competitor gets over the line safely even if it costs her the race.  Unlikely to run every day she will make it a good one when she turns up and will always have a smile on her dile.  The Baileys may soon become Champagne, Cocktails or anything else on offer.  Sue is an amazing mother to four children two of whom are adults but she is choosing to travel with her two youngest daughters Maddy 14 and Montana 10 and stabling  with her husband, Ian.  Sue is a bookkeeper so expect the payouts to be correct for her races.

SCOTT JAMES is likely to line up in his barrier without even being noticed as everyone will be too busy being entertained by his wife.  These two can not be any better described other than chalk and cheese not that there is anything wrong with that they are not the only couple of this trip you could be described as 'opposites attract'.  Don't let Scott's quiet nature fool you though.  A highly intelligent man he knows exactly what is going on and if tactics are required to win a race then he could well take it out.  Not a huge drinker he is susceptible to an odd beer or wine but unlikely to get drunk.  Trust me, his wife Deb will make sure his share doesn't go to waste or yours either if you want to leave it lying around.  An electrician by trade Scott now pays the bills with a high tech plane website.  If there is a race on and you see a plane overhead expect Scott to make it home in front.  A true gentlemen he does have secret muscial skills and probably entertained most of us on a keyboard back in the good old 'Jooce' nightclub days.  Whoa one would suggest he knows how to outsmart a drunk if he spent his nights in that dodgy cave.  Scott is stabling with his wife Deb and twin sons, Matthew and Harrison 10. 

WET 'N' WILD

Well for those of you that love Wet 'n' Wild QLD and Waterbom Park, Bali you will be thrilled to bits to know that Vanuatu has its own 'Wet 'n' Wild!  It doesn't quite come with the same thrill rides that you are used to but you can expect to have a lot of laughs and fun rolling down hills and along water slides that come with no form of Workcover or OHS to oversight the safety measures!  No fun police here.  Essentially Wet 'n' Wild, Vanuatu is a Zorbing Park!

The park also has a giant water slide which I would probably describe more as an over size slip n slide and a human sling shot.  Wet 'n' Wild is less than 10 km from Iririki and at the bottom of the hill is The famous Vanuatu Beach Bar for those keen to get off the island for a few hours but not interested in being thrown around a 2.5 metre rubber ball rolling down a hill at some crazy rate.  

I have read a number of reviews and they all rave about how fun the Zorbing is.  Many spoke about being sceptical as to whether they were interested or were quite nervous but basically the reviews were all fantastic by all sorts at all ages.  I have attached a video file.  Not too sure whey the girl in the middle in the first ride has her face blurred out.  I can only assume she 'wasn't supposed to be there'!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXt1WcXChsA

Form Guide Race 3 VANUATU CUP

Undoubtedly this is the main race  of the trip and probably the best payer if you are looking to make a quick buck.  The field is strong and while it will be condition dependant any of these quality performers could win on any day if things go their way.  Appreciation to my guest blogger for his assessment of my expectations to perform in the Vanuatu Cup.

ASH STORM Ash (Stormy) is an experienced campaigner who is proven on the track both at home and away.  A brick layer by trade he has both the physical strength and the laps on the training track to make him a top contender for the main race.  One of the biggest in the field he won't be scared off by those in the field who are a little smaller.  In fact he takes advantage of being the big fish in the little pond.  Quick to tell the world he won the batting average in the 2014/2015 season with 162 he fails to follow up with fact that the average age of the opposition was 12!  Stormy can consume large amounts of beer and is could be expected to take out the race whether over a long or short distance and with little or no rest days between events.  However, if you see him begin to mix drinks place your money elsewhere.  History demonstrates that once Stormy begins to mix his drinks he suffers from almost instantaneous 'food poisoning' likely to see him hanging his head over the barriers while the others run past.  Stormy Senior is stabling with his wife Shellie and two sons Liam 13 (Stormy Junior) and Jett's mate, Cam 10 (also Stormy Junior).

BRETT HARTMAN Hardy and Jenelle are the only stable pair to both feature in the main race.  Hardy would once have had the ability to lap others in this race and finish without so much as a sweat.  Previously the bookies would have struggled to get anyone to back against him.  However, these days he is going to be unlikely to cover any significant distance.  Race start time will be crucial but if if starts any time before 4pm you can guarantee hell be asleep by 7pm  and will have no chance of making the distance or backing it up the next day. Form indications were given away at the Carnival Legend Oaks all attended by fellow Vanuatu racers, Robyn Spark, Dave Spark, Simon Mehegan, Jenelle Hartman and some random.  The 6 were out on a  bender and security approached Hardy as the 'most sober' and 'sensible' one of the group telling them the random needed to leave!!!! Whoa really?  Clearly his form is lacking and not up to the quality of this field. Working in management at Cadbury he has somehow managed to combine the roll to include quality control which has affected his once svelte physique.  Expectations are he will train heavily in the lead up to the event to justify his selection in the main event.  Essentially  he claims he has retired from the big meets but then again he has also retired from football at least 14 times and is likely to back up with a 'one last race' in full John Farnham 'one last tour' form.  Don't count him out but realistically I think his only chance of winning this one is if he does a 'Stephen Bradbury'.  Hardy is stabling with Jenelle and Jett 10.

MICHAEL HARDIMAN Mick (Hardss) would once have won this event running backwards but these days with a recent career change his training has declined significantly.  Although stabling with his wife Zinnia, most of his training is with his boss, Jenelle, on the bitumen roads at 2am rather than the grass tracks.  Jenelle has rostered him with so much on call recently he has barely seen a pub since Christmas resulting in a loss of weight and form.    Don't be discouraged by his slight size though, this light weight can match it with the biggest and strongest, his give away that he has had too many is that he thinks he can sing and dance.  His signature move is some form of cross between the robot and the sprinkler.  Whatever it is, it is guaranteed to get a laugh and likely to distract him from the final post.  He wont be disappointed if he comes last so long as someone laughs at him.  With 6 months to get back on the track training I would expect his odds to come down significantly so don't count him out just yet.    Not into the fancy stuff beer is likely to see him through the distance. Hardss is travelling with his wife Zinnia and two kids Sahra 12 and Ky 10 and certain to be a favorite with both the ladies and the men.  Another copper who doesn't behave like one. 

JENELLE HARTMAN This star filly originally from the Mehegan stable but now firmly entrenched with the powerful Hartman stable will give another outstanding showing in this race, and must be judged as not only the bookies favourite, but a favourite with the fans. Recently, she has given stirring performances at the RMIT Graduation Stakes in December, The Carnival Legend Oaks in January and then in an international class field at the New Zealand Police Academy Cup in February. All this while encountering significant personal hardship of mothering a number of foals at both home and work. Her typical race strategy will involve Vodka and Cocktails at a steady pace early, before ramping up the pace towards the final bend and straight, and mixing in a healthy serve of dancing and karaoke, will unleash a devastating finishing sprint that no horse, giraffe, man, woman or child has any hope of matching. The undoubted star of this race meeting, those in attendance will talk about seeing her on this occasion for generations, becoming a ‘Where were you when Jenelle turned 40?’ moment, much like we speak about Phar Lap in 33’ and the unbeaten streak of Black Caviar.  Jenelle is obviously travelling with everyone on the trip but rooming with her husband Brett (Hardy) and son, Jett 10.

SIMON MEHEGAN Mogga is another to recently be left in a stable on his own and is making the most of the new found space and freedom to train hard.  His form in the Carnival Legend Oaks was strong and with Nana also on the trip to look after his two foals and you can expect big things.  Jenelle's older brother by a little more than 5 years, he has still got what it takes to match it with the up and comers and is capable of going long distances without obvious signs of fatigue.  No obvious race strategy he can be partial to an odd shot but will generally stick to the more standard beer or basic spirits.  His most likely distraction will be a stray filly in the stands which could be enough to steer him off the track.  Mogga works in middle management at Coca Cola explaining why him and Hardss the coke addict get along so well.  Mogga will keep quite early and make the late sprint but if you are looking for a reliable place certainty then this is the one to be on.  His base is strong and will only be strengthened by the increase in recent training. Mogga is travelling with his two daughters Belle 9 and Molly 7.

PAUL TOLEMAN Tolly has to be the favourite and even on current form I can't see him being beaten in the main race over 7 days.  However, there is a long time between now and the big race and given he is arriving 3 days earlier than the remaining starters he may well go hard too early.  A recent drop in weight may leave him unaware of the affect it will have on his ability to go long distances on hard tracks.  Although the affects of fatigue become obvious to most by the increased talking he will still move in straight lines and may not be obvious to all.  A businessman in a high stress position he will thrive on the relaxed atmosphere of Vanuatu and it may be the perfect location to see his best performance for some time.  There is some risk of disqualification as he may fail to move from the pool to the barriers if there is a card game in progress.  Tolly is travelling with his wife, Tina and two kids, Kaitlin 13 and Billy 10.  Would certainly have to be the favorite at this point.

MELE CASCADE WATERFALLS

If you are looking for something to do either on your own, as a family or with a group, then the Cascade Waterfalls are well worth visiting.  The falls are located only about 15 minutes from Port Vila and less than 10 minutes from where the ferry that transfers us from the mainland to Iririki Island docks.  The main fall is 50 metres in height but from my own visits I don't think the falls are as spectacular as the walk to get there.  The walk up to the falls takes about 30 minutes and passes through amazing rock pools, rock slides and picturesque rain forests. 

 The trip can be arranged through organised tours but this is really not necessary and makes the trip quite expensive for no additional benefit at all.  Entry to the falls is 2000VT which is about $23 for adults and $13 for kids.  If a group were to go together on the same day then a bus could be hailed for a couple of dollars each or alternatively a taxi would cost about $10 for four.  For an extra couple of dollars the taxi drivers will take you on a guided tour around Vanuatu highlighting some really interesting places and facts.  On my last trip the driver took us to his home/village which although was quite an eye opener it was amazing.  It was interesting and such a learning opportunity for the kids.  I would recommend the taxi option for both cost and benefit although I think if a few families choose to go the same day the bus option is likely to be essentially similar.  Negotiate the cost of the transport before getting in.  It is not a set price.  Don't pay up front or you taxi is not likely to be waiting for you upon your return.  The entry to the falls is paid when you arrive and this is a set price.

The walk to the top of the falls would realistically be described as moderate.  There are some sections which have ropes to hang on to for support and security however my mum went with me last time and she had no difficulty getting to the top.  Everyone on this trip could make it to the top quite comfortably and it is well worth it.  The walk up takes about 20-30 minutes but typically the return trip is longer as many stop to enjoy the rock pools and rock slides.  This walk really caters for entire families with the walk and scenery combined with the fun on the slides and rock pools on the way back down.  This excursion is highly recommended.  If you plan to make the trip you need to allow either a morning or afternoon.  It is not an all day activity.  You don't need to pay for personal guides or tours.  There is one path up and one path down and you can't possibly get lost.

Where: Mele Cascade Waterfalls

Cost: $23 adults $15 kids - entry

Transport: 10-15 minutes $10 either bus or taxi from Iririki ferry

Difficulty: Medium

Caters For: Families

Time: 3 hours

Form Guide: Race 2 PORT VILA STAKES

Evening all.  Rumour has it that the blog is being well received so I have decided to work on the form guide for race 2.  Race 2 may not be filled with the high profile performers but it will be competitive with reliability a common theme and guaranteed to entertain all spectators.  Expect all six starters to be spotted around the bar most days.  In the next few days I will also include some posts about some of the sightseeing that is available in Vanuatu for those families looking to spend a few days off the island.

PORT VILLA STAKES

1. SHELLIE STORM  Shellie Storm is one highly competitive character who will not turn up unless she can win.  Expect her to feature strong in pool volley ball, beach cricket, golf and bar drinking.    Shellie would line up at ticketmaster for three days to get front row tickets to watch to two snails race.  She is smart and won't make the rookie error of going out too hard too early.  She will be the quiet achiever who will run at the back of the pack until the finish line is in sight and then she'll make her dash.  Unlikely to run everyday but when she does watch out.   This book keeper should keep the book makers busy unless she manages to keep under the radar.  Shellie is likely to head to the mainland for the odd game of golf.  Shellie shares a stable with her husband Ash who will run in the main race and will also travel with her two boys, Liam (13) and Cam (10).  Shellie coaches Jett and Cam's premiership basketball team.  Jett and Cam also play footy together.

2. IAN KING Ian King is definitely one that might fly under the radar early but a few days in and he is likely to be tough to beat.  Well trained, this experienced campaigner has has to be considered a strong candidate and will be reliable in all conditions.  More likely to feature well in the longer distance races.  Ian will not only entertain on the track he is guaranteed to provide many a laugh to those around the pool.  Expect to see him near the pool bar most days with his dry sense of humour entertaining many.  Definitely a contender to take out the big prize.  Ian has his own business and will be at his best enjoying time away from the pressure and stress of work.  Ian shares a stable with his wife Sue and they will be travelling with two of their four children, Maddy (Madeline) 14 and Montanna 10.  Montanna goes to school with Jett.

3. GARY CHAPEL Gaz has been racing for many years and always gives the placings a shake.  Definitely a thoroughbred don't let age fool you, he knows what it takes.  This campaigner will be strong from start to finish.  Not flashy he will draw little attention to himself and will be hard to pick how much he has had.  If races are won on volume, he will take it out without so much as a wobble.  Gary will usually be found with Laz within a 30 second radius of the pool bar.  The perfect gentleman, Gary will always have a smile on his face and enjoy a chat with anyone.  Gary will be sharing a stable with his partner Bronwyn and will usually be found with their stable neighbours and regular travel  companions, Carol and Larry Mehegan.  Gary is a family friend of Jenelle.

4,  LYNDALL COWLEY was picked up from the scrap auctions a little while back but a bit of recent heavy training and she is on fire!  Previously having performed well in little more than a couple of minor placings in some small country meets she would have been given no chance in Vanuatu.  That is until she recently began training with her mate Thea.  One would suspect if she continues on current form she may get promoted as the only filly in the main race.  Lyndall is definitely one to get on early while she is paying well and before the secret gets out.  If she is paying anything more than 5/1 I'd be risking my house with the book makers.  This medical doctor sure knows how to party and once the kids are in bed she is likely to be last up.  Be warned this girl is one to watch guaranteed laughs. Lyndall is sharing a stable with her husband Richard and their three kids, Mia 10, Theo 8 and Spencer 4.  Jett went to school with Mia until a recent property move.

5. JODIE KIST Jodie is definitely the smallest horse to making the trip to the Vanuatu track but she will carry as much weight as her heavier counterparts and still give it a shake.  Definitely not an early sprinter she will be right up there at the end and if she doesn't get distracted by a dance floor she should certainly get a place.  Jodie has also recently returned from an overseas group birthday celebration and is likely to know how to race.  Jodie will share a stable with her husband Mick and their two sons, Jack 13 and Josh 10.  Josh plays basketball and footy with Jett.  A childcare worker in the kinder room it would seem both kinder teachers, Jodie and Zinnia Hardiman are both married to Micks!  What is with that? Jodie is team manager for the boys footy team and awesome on the email.  There is evidence that she doesn't sleep so don't give her your email address or if you do turn off notifications overnight unless you want to receive emails at 3am.

6. SIMON DALZIEL Definitely a quiet achiever, Simon will give a solid and strong performance and will be at his best if he is required to back it up in sequential days.  Simon has the ability to mix it with the big guns and go unnoticed with the spot light heavily on his stable mate and main race contender, his wife Paula. Having recently changed jobs he trained hard in the gym during the break in between and for this reason could really give the race a shake.  Definitely don't disregard Simon as a possible race winner.   Simon will give Gary a run for his money as to who smiles more and will win over all  male and female alike with his likeable personality.  Unlikely to offend anyone he will be loved by all.  Simon will be sharing a stable with his Paula and their two boys, Kane 10 and Jacob 7.  Kane goes to school and plays footy with Jett.

FORM GUIDE: Race 1 IRIRIKI CLASSIC

With over 55 people now booked, I have decided it is a good time to start publishing the form guide! With so many friends and family from so many different parts of my life, I think it would be great for everyone to have a bit of an idea about who is coming and what they can expect!  I will also note the ages of the kids so everyone can see the other kids that will be around their own kids ages.  Race 1 will be tough and has some of the most seasoned campaigners drawn in the good barriers.

1. DEBORAH JAMES  Expect Deb to be a strong performer who will almost certainly feature in the placings.  A strong performer with years of experience there will be no taking it easy from start to finish.  She will start strong and still be there at the end.  Expect Deb to take off and force the others to have to sprint to catch her.  Deb enjoys a drop of whatever is on offer and will even ensure anything spilt doesn't go to waste.  Deb is the life of most parties. Deb is a stable mate of her husband, Scott James and will be accompanied by her twin sons, Matthew and Harrison both 10 who go to Jett's school.  Definitely worth a place bet.

2. DAVE MORRIS Dave has recently returned to a stable on his own resulting in a substantial  increase in training.  If his nutrition is met with large amounts of quality wine you can expect him to be a contender at the far end of the race.  He will be deceiving and the volume of consumption will not be obvious to spectators as he maintains a constant gallop for the full race.  You can expect him to back up day after day.  Not overly loud he will remember everything from the night before and will laugh at any joke you tell.  Although it wont be obvious he is a work mate of Jenelle and will be looking to let his hair down and put in a strong performance. Dave will be travelling with his son Hugo, 11.

3. ROBYN SPARK  Robyn will start strong and most certainly be fast out of the gate.  Expect her to be leading at the half way mark but one too many Margaritas and she is likely to end up jumping the barriers or running backwards.  Robyn is probably more comfortable on the back of a horse having grown up in country Victoria before arriving in the big smoke where she met Jenelle at Uni.  Robyn is unlikely to be beaten on the dance floor and I would recommend purchasing tickets if she makes her moves towards any dance venue.  You will not be disappointed.  Now a psychologist she'll have you worked out before you sort her.  Robyn is a stable mate of her husband Dave Spark and they will be travelling with their daughter Chloe 6.

4. LARRY MEHEGAN Laz is the oldest in the field but don't let that fool you.  Unless the race is  particularly fast, Laz will be there right up to the end.  With years of training he has both the experience and the ks to get him over the line.  If the race is about smarts he will likely take it out.  He can be usually be found within diving distance of a pool or bar.  Although now retired he can still put in a good performance at any bar.  For any early risers you are likely to find your drinker partner in Laz who will be beside the pool from 6am onwards.  Jenelle's dad, Laz will be sharing a stable overlooking the water with his wife, Carol Mehegan.

5. EMMA JONES Emma is a proven performer on group overseas birthdays and likely to do well in Vanuatu.  Don't be deceived by her size.  This pocket rocket can put them away. Always got a smile on her face you wont find Emma sitting in the corner.  Emma will start strong but soon be distracted if you hand her a microphone or push her towards a dance floor.  No not a singer, the microphone is for talking!!! Emma is likely to stay strong for the entire race but will back it up early the next day so you'll have to be ready to go.  She is unlikely to give away when she is starting to do it tough.  A hairdresser by occupation, Emma shares a stable with her husband Bryn and three kids, Kynan 10, Shayla 8 and Camdyn 6.  Kynan plays football with Jett.

6. ZINNIA HARDIMAN Zinnia's outlook is clear. Go hard or go home.  There is nothing in between. If she turns up she will win the race.  Put your money on for a win.   Vodka is the favorite but she could be swayed by other choices further into the race.  She hasn't performed in many of the Hartman events but by all accounts from those at her local Geelong track she must a considered a favorite.  Her foundations from across the ditch still remain strong and she wont be fooled by her opponents.  She will play fair but hard. Zinnia is a childcare worker who never gets to switch off given her husband and stable mate Mick Hardiman requires constant supervision.  Mick works with Jenelle.  If Mick is behaving then Zinnia is almost certain to take out the event.  She will also be travelling with her two kids, Sahra 12 and Ky 10.

Passports and Visas

Everyone requires a passport to visit Vanuatu.  This applies to all Australian citizens, both adults and children.  The passport must be valid for 6 months after the date we are due to arrive back in Australia.  For those who consider maths to be a second language, this means your passport must not expire before 23 July 2016.  Please check this now so you know whether you need to apply for a new passport or not.  Airfares can be booked without a valid passport but tickets can not be issued without one.   Don't leave this until December.  Passports can be issued in 3 days in an emergency but it is a stressful and costly exercise.  For general applications you need to allow up to 3 weeks from the day an application is lodged to receive your passport.  Passports cost $250 for adults and $125 for kids (Up to 16)

Australian citizens who are visiting Vanuatu for less than 30 days (this is us) and have return tickets (this is us too) do not require a Visa to enter or stay in Vanuatu.  Basically your passport is the only official documentation that you need to be considering prior to arriving at the airport on January 16 2016.

Welcome to Vanuatu 2016!

Well, holy crap batman! I am still trying to work out how this trip has even come about.  Being somewhat shy, I didn't want a huge party or lavish affair for my 40th  birthday.  Due to some more recent health hurdles and a new found appreciation for life, I didn't want the milestone to go uncelebrated either. We all know I love to travel, I absolutely adore my family and I cherish and appreciate my closest friends.  I wanted to somehow combine them all so I decided I would love to celebrate my birthday with those dearest to me in Vanuatu!!!!  One of the most beautiful places on earth.  The best of everything rolled into 1.  When the invitations went out I considered I might be super lucky to have 5 or 10 people able to make the trip.  I knew it was a big ask.  Now all of a sudden there are 62 of us on our way...Whoa!!! I can not believe it.  No time to be shy about a party, this is going to be huge.  Thank goodness I have taken to drinking like a duck to water.

I have decided to set up this blog for a number of reasons.  I am getting many questions from all directions.  Many of you don't know each other so I am often answering the same questions over and over.  Between now and the trip I will post all sorts of information.  Make sure you check back often.  I will post all sorts of stuff including general information about Vanuatu, travel information (I always wanted to be a travel agent), things you can do while were over there and even a little information about you! The guests!  Be prepared for the publication of the form guide!!!!!  An honest account of what we can expect from each of you after the sun goes down and the bar is open.  The sprinters, the stayers and those that should just never have turned up. Have no fear people, this trip is a no pressure do whatever you want event.  Anything I post is just to assist you and give you ideas. Just part of the whole trip build up.  Do whatever you like, whenever you like.  

The biggest question to date has been 'So, who else is going?"  I will begin by saying that everyone who is going is awesome!  Only awesome people in my camp.  In particular many are interested in the ages of the other kids so they know if there are other kids around their own children's ages.  Pretty much the answer is yes!  In the next few days I will endeavour to include a post about the flights and accommodation including specific details and contacts.

I know it is terrible that you are all being forced to spend a whole week on this horrible horrible island...